Tag Archives: Bird Flu

The One With The First Bird Flu Case In Hong Kong

And so bird flu has hit Hong Kong (hat tip to Daphne). In view of this public menace ahead I have put on my overimaginative hat and would propose the following health advisory:

Don’t travel to China. At all. That’ll eliminate 90% of the risks.

Don’t eat poultry. Heck, don’t eat meat at all. Be a vegan. I have yet to hear a fatal case from eating too much vegetables

Don’t have sex. Don’t make out. Stay away from everyone, preferably at a 3m radius. Bodily fluid of every variety might kill you. Condoms won’t help under these circumstances.

Don’t use public toilets. When in need, think happy thoughts. Or how disgusting public toilets can be.

Don’t eat out. Eat at home. Cook everything at high heat. Freeze all leftover. That’ll take care most of the bacteria.

Don’t go to work. Unfortunately that is not an option for most people. So if you have been thinking about going on your own on that business, now is the time.

Jokes aside, please stay healthy and be cautious at this dangerous time.

(Photo Credit: http://www.poultryhelp.com)