Tag Archives: Rant

Your Lover is NOT a Shopping List

Do you have an online profile on a dating website? And if you do, what do you write under “What am I looking for?” column?

Your lover is NOT a shopping list

It irks me how people people approach dating and relationship like they are shopping. When they go for their first date with a “prospect”, it is as if they are shopping for clothes. Does the collar fit? Is the cutting flattering? Does the colour suit my skin? Is that the best price? Can it go with my pants?

If the said date is lucky to fulfill most of this mental checklist, he might have that second date. On the rare occasion when one fulfills all the criteria, he will be asked to go for the next date.

One of my online pals agrees with me:

I am always dubious of people with very specific requirements for any potential partner; perhaps I’m just a romantic at heart. I have plenty of preferences, but I think you have to be willing to adapt. Online dating sites are chocked full of people with a huge list of what they want to take out of any relationship, and absolutely no idea what they can put into one. Or, often, no intention of putting anything in at all.

Why do people always focus on what the other party can contribute to the relationship, and not what they themselves can bring to the table? Are we so focused on what we need that we lost sight that a relationship is made up of two person?

Like how Cowboy Caleb dissed a blogger on how she only think of “me! me! me!” (that sounded like Ris Low, by the way), I hope the day will come when most of us think of the other person first, then oneself.

Let me walk my talk. So what can I bring to the table?

1) The person will become the top priority of my life, without question

2) Expect adventure and excitement in exploring places unknown

3) A wedding of the century, one that is spectacular and memorable for years to come

4) A strong sense of family and security that only a stable home can bring

When you know what you can offer to your other half, you’ll inevitably create your own “shopping list” without seeming to do so. Do you know why?