I was at a meeting at Sheraton Towers with two old timers. They were blabering on about “those were the days” back in Paris and Hong Kong. At least, that is what I thought they were talking about. Coupled with a glass of white wine and their heavy accent, I might have been looking like a fool nodding and smiling at the bar.
The time striked 7.30 p.m., and I couldn’t take it anymore. I excused myself with classes, and off I went hurrying to Newton station to catch the train. Visions of an early night after an hour of massage from my user masseur filled my mind. But little did I know things will change after I send Jude a message
Me: The thrill of having a meeting in a hotel. Wine and snacks aplenty
Jude: Bloody hell. Enjoying yourself on company expenses!
Me: Nah, it was on the supplier’s expenses. I am on my way home now
Jude: Want to meet for a beer and dinner?
Me: Where the hell are you now? I am near AMK station
Jude: My bus just passed AMK. Are you in a cab?
Me: I am in train. Meet me at the train station.
One thing led to another, we ended at Chomp Chomp. For the life of me, I have never been there although I have been staying in the area for close to two years. It seems only fitting that I finally found out the sneaky trails from my block to Serangoon Central during my last week here before moving to Toa Payoh.
Over the course of dinner and many drinks, Jude and I shared many things. I realise I have been telling him loads of things – things which I never meant to actually share with anyone, and things which I thought better left unexplained.
Ryan joined us after his rendevous with girlfriend. Insisted not to drink more than a glass (I think he drank at least 1.5, that bastard). Conversations were getting slurry, and then something hit me hard in the head
Me: Do you think I am stressed?
Jude: Everyone can see you are troubled!
Ryan: Don’t think too much boss…
Me: (Perplexed) But I am pretty sure I am not stressed?
Or am I? Over the course of the past few weeks, I had been desperately seeking a balance in my daily life. Gym, work, even dating… but nothing can put that fire back in me to enjoy life to the fullest.
Despite what I told people around me on life-living, it is easier said than done.
“Never take life too seriously. No one ever get out of it alive, anyway”
How… prophetic. Sometimes I think I know myself so well… yet other time I think I am just wearing a mask showing people that I am alright, that things are grand.
Sometimes I look at myself and got a scare that I no longer know this person who is so confident yet seems to be crumbling inside.
I think I am losing it. But I ain’t sure. At the meantime, life took the liberty to turn its wheel regardless if I am in for the ride.
I guess, at this juncture of my life, I am a reluctant passenger in the passage of time.