Category Archives: Funny Stuff

Hilarious stuff found all over the web worth blogging about

College Humour

Colleague humour is nothing new. Quite a number has been going around… but these are the new gems I found recently. LOL.

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Merry Christmas from Mum

My mum sent me an email with the subject “Merry Christmas and Happy New Year”. I thought it was sweet of her to send me an email – an email! – for greetings.

Until I opened it and saw the inside:

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Gosh! The stuff that mums could send to their sons!

Merry Christmas, everyone! :)

Picture of the Day

Well said!

(And no, this is not an insult to those in Special Olympics!)

Best Story of the Day

This is so funny that I just have to share….

Betsy, a grammar-school teacher from Miami, remembers this Oscar-worthy birth tableau from one of her students. . . I’ve been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second-grade classroom a few years back.

Usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it to school and talk about it, they’re welcome.

Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater. She holds up a snapshot of an infant. “This is Luke, my baby brother, and I’m going to tell you about his birthday. First, Mommy and Daddy made him as a symbol of their love, and then Daddy put a seed in my mother’s stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for 9 months through an umbrella cord.” She’s standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I’m trying not to laugh and wishing I had a video camera rolling. The kids are watching her in amazement.

“Then, about two Saturdays ago, my mother starts going, ‘Oh, oh, oh!” Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. “She walked around the house for, like an hour, “Oh, oh, oh!” Now this kid is doing this hysterical duck-walk, holding her back and groaning. “My father called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn’t have a sign on the car like the Domino’s man. They got my mother to lay down in bed like this.” Erica lies down with her back against the wall. “And then, pop! My mother had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!”

The kid has her legs spread and with her little hands is miming water flowing away. It was too much!

“Then the middle wife starts going push, push, and breathe, breathe. They start counting, but they never even got past 10. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff they said was from the play-center, so there must be a lot of stuff inside there.”

Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat. I’m sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, if it’s show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder – just in case another Erica comes along.

I’m male and open

My Flickr account profile really cracks me up.

Chicken Little

One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, “.. and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, ‘The sky is falling, the sky is falling!’ “.

The teacher paused then asked the class, “And what do you think that farmer said?”.

One little girl raised her hand and said, “I think he said: “Holy Shit! A talking chicken!”.

The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

P.S: This got me laughing out loud!

Funny Shit from Kenny

It had been a long time since I last laughed out loud reading blogs. And Kenny Sia did it for me again!

naeboo says: i’m so stresseddddddddd
Kenny says: its very easy, i show u
naeboo says: 253645869
Kenny says: (you forgot ur shift button)
naeboo says: i just feel like swearing in numbers

Kenny says: Eh, how come there are “mounds” in front of the clubbing district? So strange.
naeboo says: That’s where they bury the dead clubbers.

naeboo says: Whoa. This airport really low cost.
*The baggage carousel’s alarm began to sound*
naeboo says: Hehehe! Even the alarm sounds so low cost. Like the sound of chicken chirping. They put chickens inside cages and poke them with needles. And then when the chicken gets fat, they take them out and sell it to KFC! Wahahaha!

Kenny says: Wow, traffic lights in Penang really advanced hor. Got countdown timer somemore.
naeboo says: Yalor, in Kuching our traffic lights are powered by fireflies.
Jin Boone says: Really ar!?
naeboo says: Ya. And then if we wanna get Astro, we have to put a monkey on our roof to hold a wok pointing towards the sky. That’s why when it’s raining we cannot get any Astro reception.
naeboo says: BECAUSE THE MONKEY GOT SICK!

Titanic Part 2

This remake is awesome. Must watch! :)

The NTU Student MTV

Who says NTU people are all nerds? This MTV is damn nice!

The one with the ultimate funny post from Dilbert

I was laughing my way through the whole post. It is just so bloody funny. See if you can resist this!

Restroom Automation

I remember my excitement the first time I saw a restroom faucet with a motion detector. It was like magic. I just waved my hand in front of the sensor and water spat forth. It was like the food replicator on the Star Ship Enterprise, but Version 1.0 that only produces cooty water.

Eventually the soap dispenser caught up. That was less exciting for two reasons: 1) It was just copying the water faucet, and 2) It is exactly how I imagine it would feel if a bird pooped on my hand.

Lately, some paper towel dispensers have joined the action. Activate the sensor and a paper towel presents itself. Scientists have obviously spent a lot of time calculating the proper dimensions for this towel. It’s precisely the size that is too small to be satisfying and yet large enough that you won’t rip the dispenser off the wall, smash it in the sink and grab a big wad of towels from its stinkin’ guts. But you’re tempted.

I love all of these motion sensor devices despite the fact that I live my life in a partial Sixth Sense way, i.e. barely registering as alive. For example, I often have conversations with people who don’t know I’m even talking to them. I am usually not aware of this until they get distracted by a bright light or noise and wander away. Motion sensors give me the same problem. I generally have to solicit two or three sinks before I find a faucet that will acknowledge me. It takes two or three more sinks to find a soap dispenser that is willing to poop on my hand. If the paper towel dispenser has a motion sensor, I know I’m in for a long day.

I’m anxiously awaiting the next innovation in restroom automation. I assume developers are already working on the last mile: A robotic arm to unzip my pants, grab my unit, then do the holding, shaking, and repackaging. I’m too busy to do that stuff for myself. Plus I was already spoiled by the time they automated the paper towel dispenser.

The Autopee device (it needs a name) would be problematic because every guy is built different. Somehow it would need to know the dimensions of what’s behind your zipper so it didn’t accidentally neuter you. I suppose the best way to do that is to have some sort of voice recognition software that asks you what kind of car you drive. If it’s a Porsche, for example, you might be compensating. If it’s a Honda minivan, you’re probably sporting an anaconda.

You’d also have to tell the Autopee how much shaking you want, ranging anywhere from two quick flicks to a happy ending.

Good luck getting that image out of your head.