The One With How To Throw A Fabulous Party

This Charming Manâ„¢ is all about great parties and fabulous gatherings of friends and foes alike. Give him any reason – a birthday, a promotion, a festival, a divorce – he will find it worthy enough to get a party going.

More often than not, a gathering of This Charming Manâ„¢’s doing is but fabulous, to varying degree. But fabulous nonetheless. Here are his secrets, in order of decreasing importance.

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The magic is in the numbers. The more invited guests your party have, the more likely it’s gonna be fabulous. Let’s say your palace can fit some 30 guests comfortably. Now give it a factor of 2 for fabulous-ness; that brings the number up to 60. And now give yourself a 50% attendance rate. So make sure your guest lists is at least 120 person. While you are at it, what the hell, round it up to 150. The last time This Charming Manâ„¢ organised a birthday party, he invited some 200 people, and 80 of them turned up with another 20 strangers in tow.

You can never have too many guests.

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To guarantee a fabulous party, pile your guests with enough alcohol to drown a herd of elephants. Don’t worry about the cost, my girlfriends, here’s a tip from This Charming Manâ„¢. Ask your guests not to buy you a gift (they probably get the size wrong anyway; This Charming Manâ„¢ is always a size S, just for the record). Instead, bring a bottle of alcohol. You’ll find that (1) almost everyone is too proud to bring just a bottle of beer (while you are at that, order a barrel on tap; it’s magic); (2) some rich guests will bring more than just one bottle, and (3) your very true friends will bring you a bottle and a gift.

Now, that’s economically smart and fabulous at their best.

30th Birthday Celebration

Food, glorious food. Believe it or not; in a fabulous party, no one cares about food. It is as much a prop to a party as your bunch of feather boa (more of that later). With any chance, guests who consumed some amount of food will get to see them again later at night… in the toilet. So do yourself favour and not cook up a storm in the kitchen. That’s not sexy.

Catered finger food. Now that’s sexy.

30th Birthday Celebration

Now, what’s next… oh yes, props. A fabulous party is nothing without the right props, and This Charming Manâ„¢ swears by balloons and feather boas. Always, always, my darlings, have a colour theme. Then buy some of those little rubbers and boas in the colour of your choice. Get the guys to do the blow job for a change; to inflate the balloons I mean. And there is just something about the boas that make the princesses out of the ladies, and bring the ladies out the gentlemen.

30th Birthday Celebration

The final touch to a fabulous party is music. Continuously, pumping music. This Charming Manâ„¢ suggests you download some party remixes that will keep those blood and alcohol flowing all night long. Best if you have some friends with a spinning interest; music, that is… oh yes, about the photo above. This Charming Manâ„¢ loves that photo… hence.

Now, my darlings, go ahead and have some fun. Have a fabulous party.

And you are welcome.

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