Daily Archives: 17 February, 2010

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10 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Listen To Ris Low When It Comes to Safe Sex

If you are from Singapore, chances are you would have heard of Ris Low. The beauty pageant contestant became famous after an interview on Miss World Singapore was published online and much circulated.

10 Reasons Why You Shouldn't Listen To Ris Low When It Comes to Safe Sex

The reason? Her bad English. I have to admit that I laughed myself silly while watching her clip. However I did not blog about her infamous episode, partly because the backlash has been horrible enough for the girl, and I did not think that she did anything wrong.

But that, my friend, is about to change. Today, I am going to blog about her.

Today I came across another hilarious video of Ris Low published by clicknetwork.tv (via Justin Jap). This time, the controversial topic was on safe sex. After watching her demonstrating how to use a condom properly, I feel alarmed. Not because of her getting yet another backlash (she would have totally deserved it this time), but the erroneous way of her safe sex practices.

Safe Sex With Ris Low from clicknetwork on Vimeo.

Here are some reasons why you should not follow her advice on safe sex:

#1 – The most important reasons for safe sex? Unwanted pregnancies? I don’t know about you, but I could live with unplanned babies (though I know some friends of mine will disagree). But if you got HIV, that’s the end. Literally. I would rather have a baby in my arms than oozing sores all over my body.

#2 – When you put a condom on, you don’t push it against the tip of the willy and try to scroll it down. You pinch the tip of the condom, place it on the head, then roll it down in one swift motion. Not lose control of the whole damn thing and went “oops” when the condom when aflying. That is just not on.

#3 – I am supposed to use with it with warm jelly? And what brand of lubricant were she using? I hope to God she is not using a petroleum-based one from her (undoubtedly) large collection of skin care. And you put the jelly on the condom, not on your hand. You don’t fuck using your hand (unless your man like it that way… I am just saying).

#4 – You can use the lubricant on your nails? Supposedly a fashion tip? Errr… do you want your man to smell your fingers, thought of KY (assuming that she was using the right lube), and want you to jump his bone immediately?

#5 – Speaking of finger nails, if you have those ridiculous looking and sharp (fake) nails on, let your man be the man he is and put on his own condom. One cut on the condom and you’ll have a baby in your arms nine months later. Or you could hurt his tool. Ouch.

#6 – Even with a small penis, you don’t roll your condom all the way. It is an impossible feat… have you seen a pair of testicles, Ms. Low?

#7 – How do you remove the condom while it is hard, and erected? I don’t know about you, but if I have done my job properly, I think my little brother will go a little soft once the load is… unloaded.

#8 – The skin is coming off when you peel off the condom? You might say oops. But I would say OUCH, get your ridiculous nails away from my willy!

#9 – Thanks for thinking that sperm is damn disgusting. I don’t think your stain on me is that great either.

#10 – It is okay to roll up your used condom into a ball and dispose it somewhere, but I thought you think sperm is disgusting. One tip for you – just pull of the damn thing, wrap it with tissue paper and be done with it.

The only tip I agree with her is that you shouldn’t “recycle” a used condom. It is way safer to just use a new one if you want to continue. Don’t be a cheap skate. On average I use an average of ten condoms per session.

Ooops, I shouldn’t have said the last line.

Now, what safe sex tips do you have? Please don’t say abstaining from it, unless you are a monk.